The 16 Best Comments To Get Out Of Sex When You’re Middle-Aged And Can’t Be Bothered

I know you hate me talking about sex, but here’s a bit of frivolity for the weekend…

  1. ‘Remind me where the dog goes?’

  1. ‘But it’s after 9 O’clock!’

3.‘I’ve got this new pair of support knickers you’re gonna love…’

4.The problem with peri-menopause is that you just never know when your period’s                  gonna turn up…’

5.‘I knew those pulses and beans were a bad idea…’

6.‘If you need Viagra tonight, that’s absolutely fine…’

7.‘Okay if I just lie here and watch the gymnastics while you get on with it?’

8. ‘And I was about to give you full control of the remote all evening…’

9.‘I think I pulled my vagina at the gym…’

10.‘Bit hairy I know, but I forgot we were out of winter…’

11.‘Let’s do some role-play. You’re Poldark reaping corn…

12. ‘That sounds like the kids…’

13.‘I’m pretty sure I can’t get pregnant any more…’

14.‘Or we could watch a western, action-packed Netflix series with lots of car chases and              gratuitous violence?’

15. ‘Do I really have to take my yoga pants off…’

16. ‘Five minutes is long enough, isn’t it?’

#excuses #middleage #tired #Humor #Sex #Relationships

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Louisa Simmonds is a freelance writer who specialises in providing web and promotional content for small businesses.


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