I’m rarely in a position to brag about my middle-aged style choices but I really hit the bullseye on the middle-aged bag lady target this morning, when I had to race like a crazy woman into my son’s school to hand in the latest overdue form and payment for his excursion today.
You see, I didn’t have time to put an outfit together.
But luckily, after extensive research, and aided by the natural ageing process, (which makes it easy for me to obsess over comfort rather than style these days), I’ve finally managed to perfect the bag lady look.
I know you’re impressed.
Here our my six personal styling tips to achieve my look:
Reading Glasses: Luckily, retro reading glasses are as uber-fashionable an accessory right now as Victoria Secret wings and even if you don’t require them for the gift of sight, they do the most wicked job of disguising insomniac, puffy, makeup-less eyes. I think mine give me an intelligent, quirky, ‘I might be intelligent as well as interesting’ vibe.
Messy Bun: I’ve been a fan of the messy bun for yonks now. Messy buns are the best way to hide greasy, lank hair, stubborn greys and dark/grey roots, so if you don’t know how to create one, get with the program and educate yourself.
PJs: Nothing says YOU REALLY DON’T CARE ANYMORE better than going out in public in your pjs. My pj top would have made an even bigger impact if I’d had the balls to go bra-less – but as many men still think that young women breast-feeding in public are an embarrassment, I just don’t think they’re ready yet.
The great thing about the loose-fitting pj top is that it’s just so versatile for coping with those sudden, middle-aged dramas like bloating, which can happen at any time of the day and cause your normal waistband size to expand upwards by at least another four sizes. Brown pj tops come n particularly handly for when you spill the first coffee of the day.
Yoga Pants: Forget the modern yummy mummy, black, skinny style and get out your faded, vintage 80’s Fonda culottte, complete with white stain from that cream cake you ate the last time you wore them.
Flat, Comfortable Shoes: LOVE LOVE LOVE these loafer-style, animal print shoes I bought recently and have lived in since. Mix them up with animal prints to truly create that exotic and cosmopolitan air of middle-aged eccentricity.
Animal print scarf: If you don’t have any animal print in your wardrobe, you haven’t truly accepted middle age and the expectations that go with it. I threw this scarf in the mix to add a spot of colour and glamour to the morning lifelessness of my complexion. It clashed nicely with my loafers to give me that quirky, ‘she’s forgotten her meds’ edge.